A Stinky Bum from Outer Space
Do you believe in aliens? If there are creatures on other planets, do you think they have bums? People in Flatwoods, Braxton County certainly think so, and with good reason.
On an unusually chilly night in 1952, three boys were out playing when they saw a bright object in the sky. They watched as it crossed above them and slowly, steadily, descended into a nearby farmer’s field. The boys ran home and told everyone. Together with some more friends, they set out to investigate. It was getting dark, so they grabbed some lights to take along.
The boys were sure the thing they had seen in the sky had landed at the top of a small, wooded hillock. The group of children chattered excitedly as they walked toward it.
“D’ya think it’s an alien?”
“See anything?”
“Are we there yet?”
The evening dew was upon the ground, making it slippery, and the dark quiet of the countryside was all around. A boy named Eugene led the way, pointing the beam of his flashlight in front of them to show the way. It was not a hard climb, but the thicket of trees surrounding the hillock made getting to the top more difficult than you might think.
When the group arrived at the top, they found a small clearing, covered in a strange, gummy, goop none of them had ever seen before. But that wasn’t the only first: looking up, the kids saw two glowing eyes looking down at them. Whatever it was, it was taller than any person. Before the kids could say anything, the creature made a quiet hissing sound. Suddenly all the kids smelled a horrible, stinky odour.
“It gassed us!” one of them screamed.
“I’ve been stinked!” cried another.
“It’s a space-skunk!” shouted a third.
Their cries may have upset the creature, because it glided towards the kids. This time, the screams didn’t have words:
“Eek!”
“Yikes!”
“P.U.!”
Eugene was so scared he dropped his flashlight. All the kids turned and ran home as fast as they could.
The next day at school, all anyone could talk about was the “Flatwoods Monster.” They told their teachers, who said teacher things like:
“Fascinating,” and
“Hmmmm…” and
“Let me look that up.”
After school, the kids went to see the Steward of Braxton County, who decided:
“We should call the creature ‘Braxie!'”
They went to see the mayor, who proclaimed:
“I will organise a Festival of Farting Aliens!”
They went to see the sheriff, who grabbed all his guns, jumped in his sheriff-car, and drove to the hill to see if he could shoot something (all he found was the leftover odour).
The kids are all grown up now, and the monster was never seen again. But if you travel to Flatwoods you can see pictures of the farting alien on walls, t-shirts, and great big chairs you can even sit on. Just be sure to hold your nose!